Home
As Long As Your Mine [entries|friends|calendar]
fae_yero

[ website | My Website ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[30 Nov 2009|02:08am]
It doesn't help that i can still remember everything that's gone on between us since i started theatre in high school.
It doesn't help that i remember conversations we had a year ago
It doesn't help that i can remember every detail of the first night we went walking in the summer as if it were yesterday.
It doesn't help that i can remember clearly every moment we spent together walking 'round the neighborhood before i left for college.
It doesn't help that i remember what happened at the renaissance festival, when i first found out you had a girlfriend, and when i first met her.
It doesn't help that i giggle and blush whenever i go near you.
It doesn't help that you keep wanting to see me when i come home, yet you stay with her.
It doesn't help that you practically ignored me for a month and then apologized profusely, saying you've been extremely busy.
It doesn't help that i understand.
It doesn't help that i wont see you again for a month
It doesn't help that you're with her and you're happy where you are.
It doesn't help that tonight i was talking with my friend about you and listing all your positive qualities
It doesn't help that i cant get you out of my head, and that you're the only person i ever really think about.
It doesn't help that i've been feeling this way since june.
It doesn't help that i'm living so far away now.
It doesn't help that i'm falling for you. Hard and fast.
2 comments|post comment

[17 Nov 2009|06:10pm]
Tonight at 9:00 meeting with the newspaper
10:00 meeting with the literary magazine
Test tomorrow in Russian Fairytales.
Russian table stuff tomorrow night at 6
Thursday at 7:00 rehearsal for russian song my class will be singing at the international extravaganza on friday
Thursday 9:00 Arabian Nights event i have to write an article for
10 page paper due friday for Russian Fairytales
Friday night going to PA for cousin's bar mtizvah
Religion paper and English paper due Tuesday via email
Coming home tuesday afternoon for thanksgiving

can school end now please?


1 comment|post comment

[29 Oct 2009|10:00am]
 so. i'm screwed. no, really. i am. 

its not even really school work so much as this point thats killing me.  I mean, i still have a lot of work to do....russian fairytales project due monday. religion paper due tuesday, english midterm TODAY holy shit. 

but no. thats not it. What's killing me now is the fact that i spent 6 straight hours on the phone last night with someone from high school. someone who graduated with us, and who i liked for a time either last year or junior year, i dont remember. thing is, i never told ANYONE i liked him, because i didnt completely register it myself, because he had his eye on another girl. and now i think i might be starting to have some sort of feeling for him again. he's sick with swine last night and he spent 6 hours on the phone with me. his phone service sort of died around 12 and for an hour he tried desperately to make it so i could hear him....basically what happened, he would call, i would answer, couldnt hear him, he could hear me. I would tell him to just text or to use his house phone because i didnt want to play phone tag because i was tired. an hour. he wasnt giving up...did i mention he had swine and was having horrible coughing fits half the time? it hurt so much just to hear him in such pain and being so ill. not cool.

he said he wants to visit me. he's trying to figure out a way to get to baltimore to visit me. and he wants to hang out with me next time i'm home. 

but next year, he's being shipped off to boot camp. can you guess who it is yet? I respect his decision to go, i know why he wants to join the marines, i understand. and i respect it, i'm proud of him. I'm just scared. terrified. I don't want him to go because i dont want him to get hurt. i mean, even hearing him just coughing with the swine flu...granted, it sounded as though he was coughing up a lung or something, but still. it really was heart-wrenching. I was so upset for him, i wanted to be there with him, to make him soup and tea and give him hugs. he couldnt get the food himself because he wasnt allowed to leave his bed, he was that ill. 

i dont know. talking for 6 hours, it brought something back. I miss him a lot. but i dont know what i feel, because i really know him because i went to school with him for 4 years.

and then there's aaron. I like him from afar. I dont really talk to him because...i dont know, it just doesnt happen. we dont really have much to talk about, except classes. there's not really much we have in common, from what i can gather so far. i know i've talked about different things with him, but. again, its me liking him from afar. 

but this guy from high school....i dont even know. its weird. its scary. its....overwhelming. confusing. upsetting because if anything even were to happen....he's being shipped off to boot camp next year, and wont have a phone or a computer or anything, so there will be no way to contact him, except letters. and even then, who knows how long it will be until i get a reply. 

i dont know what to think right now. 
post comment

[27 Oct 2009|02:34pm]
school work is ruling my life so much right now to the point that eating food is done only if i have time. not if i can put something off to eat food instead. only if i have time. today in between classes i've had 2 bananas, had a cup of hot chocolate during religion, have english in a half hour and managed to scarf down soup and coffee in the past 20 minutes. last night i was up until 12:30 writing a russian paper, an english paper, and doing research for my fairytales project. today in between classes i've spent nearly all my time in the library working on fairytales, and when i wasnt in the library i was in my room changing my shoes, pants, or books. this weekend cannot come soon enough. and i still have to finish my halloween costume.

my day:
9:30-10:20 Russian
12:00-1:15 Religion
3:00-4:00- English
6:30-9:00 connections
9:15-10:00- meeting with the newspaper
10:00-11:00-meeting with the lit mag.

i hate. tuesdays. and it's raining. why does the world hate me ><

i'm considering skipping either the newspaper or lit mag meeting but ihavent gone to the past 3 newspaper meetings or the past 2 lit mag meetings, so. and i've given up entirely on theatre, since those meetings are mondays at 5 and i really can not make those.

oh, and mairead (my room mate) is sick with a fever of 101.8 and thus has been quarantined in the room for god knows how long. again. this is the second time. i feel bad for her and feel like i should bring her juice or something. i dunno.

i need a mental holiday soon. i'm going crazy with the amount of work that needs to get done and the fact that the only reason i'm able to be on livejournal right now is that i'm ignoring my fairytales research right now so i have a clear mind and can focus in my english class.

i've had 2 cups of coffee today now. this is new. and its the only thing keeping me awake. college has changed my life so much. i'm still trying to figure out if its good or bad...

nothing more happening with aaron yet. more on that....and everything else in my life...later.
1 comment|post comment

[25 Oct 2009|06:00pm]
 with all the work i have to do this week, it's really starting to feel like college.

I just finished writing a 450 word article for the paper on a review of a guitar concert i had to go to, and now i have to write a 4 page paper on the gender stereotypes and inequalities shown in magazines, read 25 pages for religion for tuesday, study for my russian midterm which is tomorrow, work on my fairytales project, and finish my halloween costume. 

and there's so far nothing more with aaron. sadly. we havent actually had a conversation since the study date group thing with hannah two weeks ago. which is upsetting. but maybe they'll want to study again this week since we have a paper due for that class...again...next tuesday. hm. 
1 comment|post comment

[22 Oct 2009|10:38pm]
 Liz will be the only one who will understand this post, but i feel it to be necessary.

"Mr. Morris. WHAT IN HELL GOES ON IN NEW YORK?"

that's all :)
2 comments|post comment

[13 Oct 2009|09:43pm]
 so. i promised i would write more on what happened last night with hannah and aaron. in the sheraton. in a huge suite. well, here it is.

i get there and aaron is waiting for me in the lobby. takes me up to the room...huge room. hannah is currently living there for the next week or so because she's have major problems with her room mate and is moving out of her dorm and either into a single or an apartment off campus. aaron and i were there to study with her for religion.

no studying got done. they wanted food, they ordered burgers through room service. we had fun reading things about jewish friends...we're all jewish, btw. hannah was on the phone all night with people from the EMT....where she works. just taking, nothing serious. and she was on Jdate. aaron and i were constantly on my computer. he figured out i can change my keyboard from english to russian and was having fun with that. and i was explaining to him...sort of....parts from the religion class he doesnt understand and i do. and he fed me cookies. as in broke a cookie in half...it was one of the big snickerdoodle ones...and held it out for me to take with my mouth lol it was cute and fun. and then he and i walked back to the school and had an awesome time talking. its about a 10 minute walk from the sheraton to goucher.

so much fun. i like him, but im not sure what to do about it...
2 comments|post comment

[12 Oct 2009|10:03pm]
 so i'm currently in a hotel room in the Sheraton next to Goucher with aaron and hannah. aaron is a guy who i happen to sort of kind of like. we're in here for a study group. not studying. ordering room service. more later.
post comment

[03 Oct 2009|11:53am]
 so. its october 3 and i'm already WAY too excited for halloween haha
i dont know if i want to be a faun or a nymph. help?

the nymph costume would be easy maybe. i have a dress i could wear. but the faun costume is so much cooler and to walk around campus as a faun....that would be the best ever. with the furry legs and the hooves and the horns. BEST. i just need to figure out how to make them...

anyone know where i can get furry (preferably faux fur) pants?...

anyway. halloween rules my life right now. not even joking.

2 comments|post comment

[23 Sep 2009|10:48am]
 i've had fun these past two days. yesterday after my religion class Aaron...one of the guys i talked about earlier...asked me to lunch...and then forgot xD so he owes me lunch now. when i brought it up last night in connections class, he felt so bad haha he was apologizing and then gave m a hug. it was fun. and then we...he, i, and about 7 other people....hung out in the library until 12:30 AM and ordered 5 pizzas....lots of fun haha i think it's neat that we can have food in the library...one of my friends was eating a tub of ice cream in there last night haha...

today in russian i got my test back and ended up getting 86.5/80 which was awesome haha and now i'm trying to figure out how to do the whole eating lunch thing with aaron because he's in hebrew right now and at 1:30 we both have russian fairytales...so i can catch him right after his hebrew class or after fairytales...hmm.,,i'm not a stalker, i swear, i only know he's in hebrew right now because one of my friends has hebrew right now and he's in her class...assuming that it only meets at this time.....hehe..

i still have to write this stupid article for the paper..i dont really want to, but i told the editor i would get it to her today...rrr...
1 comment|post comment

[21 Sep 2009|04:27pm]
 So i'm listening to my room mates talk about this Alcohol E.D.U. thing we have to do before october 7...its this online class thing that takes 3 hours to complete. apparently it asks you about alcohol use and if you drink, how many drinks each night,  how much you've drank in the past month....clara is coming to realization that she is an alcoholic considering she drinks EVERY NIGHT of the week, mairead thinks it's hilarious, they're both chatting about the amazing times they've had drinking and playing beer pong together and i'm sitting here....quiet because i don't drink. at all..

i was hanging out with some of the girls from my religion class today...they both agreed that they need to feed me margaritas on halloween...

clara is laughing at the alcohol edu thing...."based on the information you have given us, you may be at a greater risk than other students for having alcohol related problems" <--this is news to her and she's laughing at it. No. Fucking. Shit. you come home drunk every night and you're surprised???? what kind of chick am i rooming with?? she couldnt even stand saturday night. she was going to bed, ran into the closet door, fell onto the bed and passed out. not even kidding. mairead is at least a little better...she doesnt drink every night of the week like clara does. and i dont drink at all...hm. 

so there's this guy i found. and he kind of sort of looks like chad michael murray. only i'm the only one who thinks so. and he's in my russian class and my fairytales class. and he can do the whole rolling your Rs thing. and so half the time when he speaks in russian it sounds like he's purring. its kind of sexy. and he stares at me a lot in class. i'm hoping it's a good thing?? haha

and there's this other guy. he's not in any of my classes but he lives on the floor below me and so i see him every day in the common room. and i found out he fences, he sings, he's into celtic music....he's pretty awesome and kind of cute.

and there's ANOTHER guy. he's in three of my classes. and he's very opinionated. and kind of cute. and did i mention he's jewish? He's really nice and funny. Don't know what he's into though....have to find that out still.

people say there are no cute guys on campus. there are some. you just have to look hard and not go for just looks....i've already found three. :P 

so i'm totally ignoring my religion paper i have to write...and the outline for my english paper....i should do that.......

Renaissance Faire on saturday!
1 comment|post comment

[11 Sep 2009|12:36pm]
 I hate the rain. the end.
2 comments|post comment

[10 Sep 2009|09:49am]
 So. i woke up at 9:30 to totally take a shower. which never happened....because i'm lazy like that.

the college rule is for every hour you spend in class you should spend 2 hours studying outside of class. okay. so i spent an hour in class on tuesday in english. tell me how the fuck does that translate to me spending 5 hours writing a fucking one page paper. no. joke. MLA format. could not go past one page. could not be less than one page. took me 5 hours because we had to respond to a text we had to read. not summarize it in any way. respond to it. the first 3 tries sucked because they always sounded like summaries and i had to figure out how to get my point across but also make it short and sweet. plus then i had to read a 13 page article for religion which took me another hour. fuck. and i have homework for my russian classes that was assigned yesterday AND i have to bring $20 to my russian fairytales class tomorrow to pay for some book or other that they dont sell on campus that our teacher is getting us. so i had to find the wachovia because if i use the bank of america ATMs on campus i'm charged about $6. so then i spent an hour online last night looking for the wachovia in towson and i found it thank god. its about a 10 minute walk, give or take, from the college....

IN OTHER NEWS. i bought a whole big bunch of food yesterday at the superfresh for under $10. and goucher had a mad poster sale and i bought a big beatles poster and a little john lennon thing. yay. 

i realized i have to hide my water now. because i brought a 24 pack of water with me when i first moved in. i've only drank maybe 7 of those. i have 2 left and im hiding them. because mairead and clara just kind of took then when they were in the fridge. not cool, guys. so i have to hide my water. and some of my food. its kind of upsetting.
i need to go find someone on campus who i can talk to about all this. about me sort of hating clara and wanting my room mates to not take my shit and not have alcohol in the room.....
i think my campus needs a shrink or something..i dunno.

so thats my life. now im gonna get dressed and run off to the pearlstone cafe and grab a parfait and some milk....
2 comments|post comment

[07 Sep 2009|06:06pm]
 i think its funny how i told you guys i wasnt going to post so much now that im in college...but i miss everyone so much and i feel like LJ is now the only place i can vent and really talk and know that the people im venting to are people i've known for years, people i trust. 

i really sort of feel like here at college...im not doing the things i wanted to do. im not being the person i wanted to be. i wanted to make friends and to have an active social life and to be noticed. instead i feel invisible. theres one girl who i really talk to here but even with her i have to sort of watch what i say. because i tend to judge things and people quickly and she doesnt. because i'm not used to be overly polite to people due to the teaching we got at gaithersburg and she is. because shes not used to talking to people much and venting and i am. because to her, trying new things in college means smoking hooka and drinking rum for the first time and to me it means going to different places and meeting different people and looking at things in a new light. i'm great friends with her but i cant really openly talk to her about certain things yet. and right now thats what i need. 

i've definitely made other friends here but even with them i feel a bit invisible and unwanted. like i somehow dont fit in in this world where people moved far away from their homes and i moved an hour. where they go out to the mall every weekend and spend money in the dining halls and i prefer to eat at cafes and in my room. where they have super active social lives and im in want for one. i feel like i need to go back to high school for another year and sort things out again. because i apparently didnt do that last year.

my classes are great. i love them so much because its not the textbooks or the readings that matter. they're just helpful bits to start and push conversations. opinions matter. which is why i didnt talk during class in high school because opinions dont matter at MCPS. only what you read in books. 

its the social aspect. because no one gets my jokes here. because i dont drink and party every night. because i still sort of need to make a name for myself. because i really feel out of the loop with everything going on around me. where in high school i felt like most people there didnt care enough, here i feel like others care more than me. people are involved in sports and im not. i'm slowly getting involved in clubs. Hillel was the most surprising because im not super religious, but one shabbat dinner last week and i was hooked. pyrate club hasnt started yet. i dont know how to join the paper and the lit mag. 
i feel somewhat alone. Darcy gets annoyed at me because i hate sitting in the grass and she loves it. even after she sees the 15 massive bug bites all down my legs. and everyone here is way more artistic than i am. people dance and draw and sing. i write, but i havent written anything creative in so long. i dont know. i feel like i might be a bit paranoid about it too. maybe. maybe not. 

i just need some friendly advice and words right now. i miss everyone too much. 

people should visit me. i'm jealous of mairead, her friends are flying 5 hours out here to visit her for a weekend. almost everyone there i've asked to visit me has said "you're too far away. you're in baltimore now, deal with it." i want visitors or mail or something to feel like i'm still in touch with other people. emails dont cut it anymore. call me, send me mail, visit. email too just to say hi. something.
1 comment|post comment

[04 Sep 2009|10:43pm]
 so remember that rant i made about clara? 

i'm gonna make another.

so get ready.

and if you dont want to read a rant, turn back now.

i mean it,

i'm warning you.

you asked for it. 

so. i didnt like her from the start. but after today. i really dont like this chick and i'm really getting some bad vibes from her.
she's a chain smoker. the room does not smell. fine. she stays out all night and comes in super late and leaves super early and shes getting better with the noise and we rarely see her. fine. she's becoming a little friendlier and talks more now. fine. but when i found out that this girl is 18 and drinks and is apparantly keeping ILLEGAL VODKA in our room. no. that is where i draw the line. i saw the vodka. i came in from class today and mairead and clara were in here, apparantly talking about alcohol. i go and sit quietly on my bed with my russian homework. then i hear clara say "oh yea, you can have it, i dont care, i can always get more, its no problem, just pay me back" i ask what they are talking about. mairead's response "oh, i'm buying alcohol from clara." back up. you're both 18. you're both underage. vodka contains a large amount of alcohol. last time i checked, the legal drinking age in the US is 21, not 18. just saying. then clara ducks under her bed and pulls out a fucking bottle of vodka. a full bottle of fucking vodka, and proceeds to pour almost half the container into an empty water bottle and hands it to mairead. mairead hands clara $10. the full vodka bottle, clara says, is $15. i witnessed a drug deal this afternoon. in my own room.  
i then say, just to put it out there, "i've never done drugs." clara and mairead look at me funny and both say "neither have we.." i'm sorry.  clara chain smokes cigarettes like crazy which contain tobacco and nicotine. mairead has smoked cigars and smokes hooka. in fact is doing so right now. both drink. last time i checked, those were considered drugs. so i clarified. "i've never smoked anything or drank alcohol." 

its not so much that she drinks that bothers me. its the fact that she's 18. i'm 18. mairead is 19. we are all legally underage. and she's keeping an illegal substance in our room. after we signed a contract when we first moved in saying we would not drink alcohol if under 21, we would not keep alcohol in our rooms if under 21. we are all under 21. if she gets caught with it, the three of us in the room will all get in trouble and she will be expelled. i could get in trouble for just being her room mate because she is in possession of illegal alcohol and i, being her room mate, should immediately go to someone on campus and report her. i don't want to because i just got here. it's the first week of school. relationships are just starting to form, and i have to see these people for the next 4 years, i have to have classes with them and i have to live in the same room with these 2 girls for the rest of at least the semester, if not the whole year. i dont want to kill it for myself now. i refuse to do that. i'm just really afraid of getting in trouble because of clara.

i get bad vibes from her. she's a wild girl, and she's giving me bad feelings. she's going to screw up, she's going to get in trouble, something is going to happen thanks to her bad judgement. and i could very well get in trouble with her, because i'm living with her. 

she's gone for the weekend. she went to new york. took the train. there's a free shuttle that goes from goucher to penn station. its free. i told her this. her reply: "no. i'm not doing anything thats free until i become a completely broke college student. i'm taking a cab." a cab is expensive. she doesnt have money. the shuttle is free and stops at the college. does anyone else see the idiocy in her plan?

Mairead was supposed to be a work study student. she would get an on campus job to help pay her tuition. two days ago her dad calls her, tells her she doesnt need to do that anymore, and he's going to give her $30 a week to spend as she will. she told me today she's spending it on alcohol. i get $200 every other week from my mom. i'm not allowed to spend it. i'm supposed to let it grow, to learn the value of the dollar. other girls on campus are receiving similar money amounts from their parents. these are also to spend as they will. to go play at the mall. am i the only kid here who grew up learning whats its like to live on a budget and to not spend money all day every day on things i dont need? i think so. i'm starting to feel so....out of place here. because i dont do drugs and i dont spend money like water and i dont go flaunting everything i have for the public to see. i am here for educiational purposes, i am here to learn what it is to be an adult. i feel like i'm the only one here with that mind set. one of my friends i made...she seemed to be similar. until she told me tonight she was going with some other friends to smoke hooka and invited me along. i declined. i am, instead, sitting in my room on a friday night alone, because i plan to get all my homework done tonight so that the rest of the weekend when everyone else is bogged down by the work they ignored, i can relax and not have to worry. 

i feel like the only person at goucher right now who is taking my education seriously. it's really actually very upsetting. 
1 comment|post comment

[03 Sep 2009|08:42pm]
 so things are getting better with Clara. she's getting friendlier. 

the point of the post is to complain about how i want mail. i'll write to people if they write to me...maybe. i dont really have stamps...or envelopes.. actually, i think i have envelopes. but i can buy stamps. 

my address

1021 Dulaney Valley Rd. Baltimore, MD. 21204 
post comment

[02 Sep 2009|11:20am]
 i finished my russian language class an hour ago and now im in my room ignoring my homework until 1:15 when i have my next class on Russian Fairytales. and i have to pee like you dont even know and all the bathrooms in the fucking building are closed because they are being cleaned. what. the fuck. 

my second room mate finally arrived on monday. at 5:30 at night. and i already have really weird feelings about her, as does mairead. we're thinking of petitioning to have her switched out of the room. because we're allowed to do that. seriously, we are. its neat.
she smokes. a lot. and shes really unfriendly. she'll leave at 7 in the morning, will come back between classes to sleep, and then at night she'll run off to god knows where and wont come in until 1 when mairead and i are already asleep. we never see this girl, i've only spoken to her once and it was to tell her where some building was because she missed all of orientation. i feel like i'm being really mean but i have a really bad gut feeling about this girl. and it really pisses me off that they roomed me with a girl who does nothing but smoke. and she doesnt really care about school i dont think. she's already skipped 2 mandatory things that freshmen had to do, so. i dont know. and she eats my food. without asking. sort of like what my sister would do. i had to hide a few things already. i shouldnt have to hide my food. she doesnt have her own trashcan so she uses mine and she trashes a lot of shit. these are really petty things, i know, but when you're in a tiny room with two other people it can get really annoying really really fast. and she's LOUD. when she comes in at night and leaves in the morning. oh god. she doesnt really even make an attempt at being quiet, which is the annoying thing. she slams drawers, her closet door squeaks and she makes it worse by opening and closing it a hundred times. i dont know. i get weird vibes about her, and mairead says the same...
she was smoking outside the building for 3 hours straight yesterday. it was kind of weird. and i kind of hate it. i dont know. i feel like im going to find some of my stuff missing at some point or that shes going to end up leaving at the end of the semester. i dont really like her that much. and shes got a fish thats going to die in a week's time because its a beta fish and they dont live that long. it keeps floating to the bottom of the tank that is way to big for it and could easily hold 7 other fish the same size. 

i sound mean. i know. its partly because i got used to having just one room mate and mairead and i got into a routine and set sort of unspoken ground rules that clara totally doesnt care about...

other than that, i really like college. i've met some really awesome people here. a few nights ago we had a piggy back race haha. i was on Dashal's back and Julia was on Akviliana's back. Dashal and i won xD he's a really sweet guy. and there have already been 3 dance parties. i had to skip the one last night though to do homework. because i've gotten a lot of reading assignments so far. i really love my religion class and ana! remember the song ms sonsev taught us??? she didnt make it up! its a real song!! haha my russian teacher had us singing that yesterday in class. its really fun. 

more later when im not so dead. 
2 comments|post comment

[29 Aug 2009|09:36am]
 i moved into college on thursday. it's now saturday morning. in the two days i've been here i've met super cute guys, made lots of friends, ate both good and crappy food, bought $420 worth of textbooks, met the library cat, been kept awake at night due to the loudest thunder and lightning storm i've ever heard, skipped three or four orientation events to wander aimlessly around campus, been caught in a rain storm, and went to a super mad dance party that didnt end until 12:30 am. and now im up early because my grandparents are coming over and will be here in 15 minutes and want to see my dorm. my room mate is still asleep. fun times. 

ive got my room set up. i'm in a triple but my second room mate wont arrive until monday. classes start tuesday. hopefully she can figure out her way around in one day. its a pretty big campus. 

more later....

4 comments|post comment

[26 Aug 2009|09:55pm]
 it really pisses me off how much i've been yelled at tonight, considering i'm leaving in the morning.

i've been screamed at about how much stuff im bringing, that it's all crap, that i dont need any of it. i've been told i am not allowed to bring with me the jewelry i wear every day because its in a wide box but i am allowed to bring jewelry i never wear because it's in a smaller box. even though the box will be on my lap during the ride to goucher tomorrow.

my dad yelled at me about my "history in school" and how i tend to wait until the last minute to finish everything. the thing is, last time i did that was eighth grade, which was 4 years ago. i have been teased, mocked, ridiculed, lectured, and yelled at tonight. my last night home. good to know i'm loved and will be missed. >> 

whatever. i'm leaving, it doesnt matter. they tell me i'll get more of my stuff later, like the decorations i bought specifically for this dorm room, and the jewelry i wear every day and the gown i wanted to wear to faire. later means thanksgiving. 3 months. 

i'm kind of pissed off at my entire family because they all have been bothering me the past two weeks, trying to bond with me and talk to me and get to know me. my dad is no exception to that group. they've all had 18 years of chances to get to know me. none of them took that chance, in all the 18 years i've been alive. not one except my mom. the rest of the family is deciding that now that i'm leaving its time for them to start butting in on my personal life, acting like they know me. they don't. and i'm annoyed at them for doing this. i'm pissed off. my last night home sucked. i want to leave now. get away from these people. away from my father. because out of everyone in the family, he knows me the least. he has lived with me for my whole life, and my whole life he has ignored me and spoiled my sister. i really wish he cared a bit more but i'm certain that that will never happen. 
post comment

[18 Aug 2009|12:43pm]
 so i leave on the 27. which is next thursday. 

a little bit nervous, mixed in with a lot of excitement. i've got a lot of stuff im taking with me and im not sure how its all going to fit in the car, but we will see. my second room mate, clara, finally emailed me back. shes been working all summer as a camp counselor, is flying in and is therefore not bringing anything, and will not be moving in until the day before classes. mairead is not bringing anything, either. all the decorations and stuff in the room will be mine. 

i've still got 4 brackets left on from my braces. im getting those taken off today. tomorrow im getting my hair cut and having a henna tattoo put on my ankle. saturday im going to a party and almost every evening next week colin and i will be going walking, since he's at the beach right now. 

i'm hand sewing a new money pouch for the renaissance faire, since i lost my old one. my room is almost packed up. i've just got to pack clothing and a few small bits. i've bought my mini fridge, and have a small supply of food in the basement that i need to take with me.

i've found out that my winter break goes from december 10 to january 24, so i will be home then and will be able to go see the play at the high school. i've already made a few friends from the goucher class of 2013. facebook is wonderful that way. i'll be home for thanksgiving and maybe a few scattered weekends. otherwise, im in baltimore the whole year. im excited about my classes. every day except tuesday i have 2 classes. tuesday i have 4 classes. and the first day of classes is a tuesday. joy. im taking 5 classes all together. 


my earliest class is 9:30, though, which makes me happy. no more waking up at 5:30 to get to a 7:30 class. 

so, thats my life as of right now. i'll miss everyone <3 supposedly we're all meeting up before everyone leaves? 
1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]

Advertisement